Entry tags:
My Real Children (Walton)
4/5. When
ase found out I was writing about multiple universes for Yuletide, she asked if I'd read this. I had not, though I knew vaguely that it was about dual universes. I got it out from the library, not super planning to read it right away, and immediately fell head-first into it. I can't really even tell you why it was so compelling -- the first chapter is from the point of view of a woman, Patricia, who has worsening dementia in the year 2015, which I feel like shouldn't be compelling me to read it! And yet it was immensely compelling and I couldn't stop. I think that some other of Walton's books that I've read -- looking at you, The Just City and Lent -- have this aura of "idea-book" to me, where Walton is cheerfully working out a specific idea -- and don't get me wrong! I love those! But sometimes they can feel to me like they are all about the idea, whereas this one felt very real and moving and grounded to me, and because of that I think is my favorite Walton I've read.
The book traces her journey from a kid (born in 1926) to the point (as a young woman) where she makes a choice, whether or not to marry Mark, a rather disagreeable young man whom she nevertheless thinks she's in love with. The universe in which she does marry him and the universe in which she does not splits herself into two, and then follows the two versions of herself through their lives in alternating chapters. (They helpfully call themselves Pat and Trish -- I was amused that I independently had come up with the same necessity for having different names in the two timelines.)
Pat and Trish have very different lives. Trish, the one who marries Mark, has four children with him, gets beaten down by their marriage, gets divorced, but eventually puts together a reasonable life for herself. Though Trish's life itself is not all that happy overall, the Trish timeline slowly turns out to be better than ours overall, with a working moonbase. Pat, the one who does not marry Mark, constructs a happy and fulfilling life with a lesbian partner, Bee, and their three children. Pat's life is much happier in this universe, but the Pat timeline slowly turns out to be worse than ours overall, with a number of nuclear attacks, and a lot of people getting cancer from nuclear radiation effects, including, eventually, Bee.
I found all of this fascinating and emotional and sometimes heartbreaking, both the personal stories (and not just the differences between their lives, but the quite different people that Pat and Trish become) and the slowly accelerating changes in both universes, although to be honest I flagged a little near the end of the book where I had some trouble keeping all the children and grandchildren straight. But maybe that was thematic, because that's the point at which Pat and Trish both start getting dementia. (Not a spoiler, as we know this from the first chapter.)
At the end, the text makes it clear that she is to choose one life or the other: personal happiness vs. the world's happiness. And mmmmmph I don't really like that it seems from the text that she did have to choose one and consign some of her children to not existing! That's not okay!
But I have three answers to "what did they choose?" based on the last line, She wouldn't have been the person her life had made her if she could have made any other answer.
If Pat and Trish were treated as one being, well, I don't know what Pat would have chosen, but we know that Trish would have chosen the path that was better for the world, she is so much that kind of person. So if they were melded into one person, that's what I think they would have chosen.
But I also think that Pat would have been likely to choose her own life. And so I think that maybe Pat and Trish would have chosen different things, and so actually the timeline remains split, with there being a "Pat timeline where she also chooses the Pat timeline" and "Trish timeline where she also chooses the Trish timeline."
The third answer, and the least satisfying to me (see also, Yuletide fic, lol) is the one where they choose something together, somehow, that is in between both of their choices and becomes our own reality (which is between both of theirs). How would that even work? Which children would actually be there?? So I don't consider this a good answer :P
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The book traces her journey from a kid (born in 1926) to the point (as a young woman) where she makes a choice, whether or not to marry Mark, a rather disagreeable young man whom she nevertheless thinks she's in love with. The universe in which she does marry him and the universe in which she does not splits herself into two, and then follows the two versions of herself through their lives in alternating chapters. (They helpfully call themselves Pat and Trish -- I was amused that I independently had come up with the same necessity for having different names in the two timelines.)
Pat and Trish have very different lives. Trish, the one who marries Mark, has four children with him, gets beaten down by their marriage, gets divorced, but eventually puts together a reasonable life for herself. Though Trish's life itself is not all that happy overall, the Trish timeline slowly turns out to be better than ours overall, with a working moonbase. Pat, the one who does not marry Mark, constructs a happy and fulfilling life with a lesbian partner, Bee, and their three children. Pat's life is much happier in this universe, but the Pat timeline slowly turns out to be worse than ours overall, with a number of nuclear attacks, and a lot of people getting cancer from nuclear radiation effects, including, eventually, Bee.
I found all of this fascinating and emotional and sometimes heartbreaking, both the personal stories (and not just the differences between their lives, but the quite different people that Pat and Trish become) and the slowly accelerating changes in both universes, although to be honest I flagged a little near the end of the book where I had some trouble keeping all the children and grandchildren straight. But maybe that was thematic, because that's the point at which Pat and Trish both start getting dementia. (Not a spoiler, as we know this from the first chapter.)
At the end, the text makes it clear that she is to choose one life or the other: personal happiness vs. the world's happiness. And mmmmmph I don't really like that it seems from the text that she did have to choose one and consign some of her children to not existing! That's not okay!
But I have three answers to "what did they choose?" based on the last line, She wouldn't have been the person her life had made her if she could have made any other answer.
If Pat and Trish were treated as one being, well, I don't know what Pat would have chosen, but we know that Trish would have chosen the path that was better for the world, she is so much that kind of person. So if they were melded into one person, that's what I think they would have chosen.
But I also think that Pat would have been likely to choose her own life. And so I think that maybe Pat and Trish would have chosen different things, and so actually the timeline remains split, with there being a "Pat timeline where she also chooses the Pat timeline" and "Trish timeline where she also chooses the Trish timeline."
The third answer, and the least satisfying to me (see also, Yuletide fic, lol) is the one where they choose something together, somehow, that is in between both of their choices and becomes our own reality (which is between both of theirs). How would that even work? Which children would actually be there?? So I don't consider this a good answer :P